I remember standing in a sterile office hallway back in 2016, staring at my phone like it was a ticking time bomb. I had three different meeting invites for the same 2:00 PM slot, Skype blowing up about a “minor” crisis in support, and a nagging feeling that if I wasn’t in all three rooms at once, the whole ship would sink.
I was suffering from a chronic case of FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out. I thought being a “great leader” meant having my hands in every pot, being cc’d on every email, and showing up to every optional brainstorming session just to prove I was “grinding” with the team.
I had to learn: When you try to be everywhere, you end up being nowhere.
That afternoon, I didn’t go to any of the meetings. I walked back to my desk, shut my laptop, and took a breath. That was my first taste of JOMO, the Joy of Missing Out. And honestly? The ship didn’t sink.
And here’s the part that surprised me later: the same “skip it on purpose” muscle that saved my workday also saved my life, my evenings, my weekends, my mental bandwidth, and my ability to be fully present with the people I care about.
JOMO isn’t about being lazy or disengaged; it’s a life skill that protects your energy, at work, at home, and in your own head.
The FOMO Trap: Why “Always On” is Turning Your Lights Off
We live in a culture that worships the hustle. We’ve been told that the “early bird gets the worm” and that “leaders are the last to leave.” While hard work is essential, there’s a massive difference between being productive and just being busy.
But let’s zoom out: FOMO doesn’t just show up in leadership, it shows up in life.
FOMO looks like:
- Attending meetings where your only contribution is “sounds good.”
- Saying yes to a group chat thread that should’ve died three updates ago.
- Checking emails at 11:00 PM because you want to prove you’re “dedicated.”
- Saying yes to every invite, every volunteer thing, every “quick favor,” even when your tank is on empty.
- Being physically at dinner… but mentally inside your phone (we’ve all been there).
This constant state of high alert creates a frantic mindset. It leaks into everything, your work, your relationships, your sleep, your patience, and your ability to think clearly.
If your brain never powers down, your joy can’t power up.
JOMO and The Energy Bus: Fueling the Right Things
If you’ve ever read The Energy Bus, you know that Jon Gordon talks extensively about “Feeding the Positive Dog.” In any situation, you have two dogs fighting inside you, one is positive and one is negative. The one that wins is the one you feed.
FOMO feeds the negative dog. It feeds on anxiety, comparison, and the scarcity mindset that there’s never enough time.
JOMO, on the other hand, is how you fuel your bus with high-octane positivity. By intentionally missing out on low-value activities, you are choosing to feed your focus, your creativity, and your well-being. You are protecting your “bus” from the Energy Vampires of unnecessary busyness.
And those “Energy Vampires” aren’t just people at work. Sometimes they’re:
- A nonstop notification parade
- A packed calendar you didn’t actually choose
- The pressure to be available to everyone, all the time
- The comparison game (a.k.a. scrolling and spiraling)
JOMO isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing what matters most with 100% of your presence.
Why JOMO Makes You Better at Life (Yes, Life)
When you embrace the joy of missing out, something incredible happens.
You stop being a bottleneck, in your own schedule.
Here’s why JOMO is a competitive advantage for anyone, parents, teammates, partners, friends, and humans with a pulse:
1. It Builds Trust (At Work and at Home)
Every time you “miss out” on a meeting that doesn’t need you, you’re sending a silent but powerful message: “I trust you.”
Same goes at home. When you don’t manage every detail for everyone, other people step up. Kids learn responsibility. Partners share the load. Teams grow ownership.
Trust grows when you step back.
2. It Protects Your Mental Clarity
We only have a finite amount of mental energy each day. If you spend your morning debating the font size on a slide deck (or your afternoon doom-scrolling, or your evening juggling six “quick” tasks), you won’t have the clarity you need when life actually needs you.
JOMO is you saying: “I’m not spending my best brain on my lowest-value stuff.”
Clarity is a boundary.
3. It Models Healthy Energy (Without a Ted Talk)
Burnout is real, and it doesn’t care if your title says “Director” or “Dad” or “Daughter” or “Just trying my best.”
When people around you see you set a simple boundary and stay positive, you give them permission to do the same. Not by preaching it… but by living it.
Your energy teaches.
5 Ways to Practice JOMO This Week (Work, Home, and Everything In Between)
Ready to trade the frantic hustle for some strategic peace? Here are a few ways to start exercising your JOMO muscle:
- The “Heck Yeah” Rule: If an invitation or a task doesn’t make you say “Heck yeah!” because it aligns with what matters most right now, it’s a “No.”
- Audit Your Calendar (and Your Evenings): Look at next week. Pick two things, one meeting and one personal obligation, that aren’t truly necessary. Decline, reschedule, or simplify. (You don’t need to attend every single thing to be a good human.)
- Create “Blackout” Zones: Block off two hours for deep work or real rest. No Slack, no emails, no “quick questions,” no “just one more” scroll. Missing those notifications is where the breakthroughs, and the calm, happen.
- Delegate the “How,” Own the “Why”: At work, give the vision and the encouragement. At home, do the same. Let other people learn the “how” instead of rescuing them every time.
- Protect One Sacred Thing Daily: A family dinner. A workout. A walk. A bedtime routine. Ten minutes of quiet. Put it on the calendar like it matters, because it does.
Choosing what to ignore is just as important as choosing what to focus on.
Letting Go of the Hustle to Find Your Impact
I’ve spent years working with teams, and the biggest breakthrough usually isn’t a new strategy or a fancy framework. It’s the moment they realize they don’t have to be “on” to be effective.
But honestly? This isn’t just a leader thing.
The most grounded people I know, great teammates, great parents, great friends, are usually the most selective. They aren’t the loudest in every room; they’re the ones who show up fully in the right rooms.
They understand that positive teams thrive… and so do positive families, friendships, and relationships. Not when everyone is pushed to the limit, but when people are living with clarity and calm.
Selective beats scattered.
The Ripple Effect: From You to Everyone Around You
When you start practicing JOMO, the culture around you begins to shift.
At work, people stop performing “busyness” and start performing results. The air in the office (or the Zoom room) feels less frantic. Your Energy Bus principles start to stick better because people actually have the mental space to implement them.
At home, it looks like less snapping, less rushing, and more actual connection. The kind where you’re listening… not half-listening while typing.
You’ll find more joy in the “missing out” because you’ll see what you’re gaining:
- Better sleep.
- Lower cortisol levels.
- More meaningful connections with your people.
- More patience (the underrated superpower).
- The ability to see opportunities that were previously buried under a mountain of noise.
JOMO is contagious, in a good way.
Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Permission
If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: You are not a machine. You are a human being whose value is your wisdom, your energy, and your perspective. None of those things can flourish if you’re constantly chasing the “next thing” out of fear.
So, go ahead. Decline that meeting. Leave that “FYI” email unread for a few hours. Skip the extra obligation. Put your phone in the other room for dinner. Take a walk without your notifications narrating the whole experience.
Embrace the JOMO.
Your team, your family, your friends, and your sanity will thank you for it.
JOMO isn’t about being out of the loop… it’s about being in the right loop.
